Sunday, April 24, 2016

You Need a Rita!

You Need a Rita ~ pattern by Linda Ballard

This is a quilt I started one year ago in a Linda Ballard workshop, finished to a flimsy earlier this month during Goldie's Good Times Weekend. Now it's up on my design wall waiting it's turn to be quilted ;0) Donna L and I took the workshop together. Her blue and green top is also waiting to get quilted! 

The remainder of this post is NQR ~ not quilt related. It is personal and is as much for me to blog or journal about as anything else. Up to you if you wish to read on. Just one piece of advice, I've blogged about it before, however if you haven't already, look into setting up a Trust. At the very least, granting Durable Power of Attorney to someone you trust.   

It meant allot to me to get this top completed. While I was caring for my mom it was difficult for me to get away for workshops and I spent what little time I had, quilting alone at home. Thank goodness for the internet and blogging, that helped. It was during one of those rare occasions that I signed up for a workshop, the Linda Ballard workshop, it was close to home (at HRQ, walking distance from my house!) that day I got a phone call that Mom was not doing well and left the workshop early. Within a week Hospice was set up and Mom passed away in my home 6 weeks later, the end of May.  

Almost a year later, the journey continues. Without going into the whole family history, just going to say that my father was a stubborn and proud Dutch man. True to his nature he took care of mom and was determined to out live her. He didn't.

I moved to their home in early Spring of 2008 after my father fell and broke his hip. Dad finally granted me Durable Power of Attorney but it was too late to get one for my mom due to her advanced state of dementia. I took care of both of them until he passed away that summer. The Durable Power of Attorney stopped the moment he died and there was no Trust. Without one for Mom my only option was going thru the process to become her Conservator. (In some states it's a Guardianship). As her Conservator I was able to set up a Trust thru the court. I don't recommend doing that, it's been a nightmare...  

Eight years and now one month shy of one year since Mom passed away, I am still going thru the process of being released from that responsibility. In March of this year my attorney finally completed and filed the petition to the court to approve the close of the Conservatorship and release me as Conservator. My attorney told me the judge approved the petition and was waiting for the final written order from the judge. This week I received a copy of that order and surprise, the judge did not release me and has set yet another hearing for September, in addition to a hearing that is set for the Trust. I am so disappointed!!! So now I still have all of the responsibilities as Conservator and Trustee. Going thru the process for a court appointed trust is a nightmare in and of itself! The process, the money this has cost and that attorney. Needless to say, I hired a new attorney. Worst of all, no closure. 

Long story short... I can't emphasize enough how important it is to have the right tools in place. Not just that our parents have them in place but that we have them too. 

I am struggling this weekend. Frustrated and just plain tiered, both physically and especially mentally. My business is important to me and I am trying very hard to do a good job but I have to confess that I am having a terrible time concentrating. Added that Michael had surgery a week ago (and thankfully is doing fine) didn't help make for a great week.

Thank goodness that I am a quilter! Having that outlet helps and I know it will help me get out of the hole I am in right now. The best part is the incredible circle of friends I have developed over the years. The majority, of course are quilting friends made thru my quilting business, my quilt guild and the internet. 

Finally this year I gave myself permission to spend more time working on my own quilt projects in place of only quilting for others. I accepting an invitation to join a quilt group and having what Karen calls our girl time, simply getting together as a group just to sit and sew on whatever project we have going. I joined a BOM workshop, Toes in the Sand. It's made a world of difference and I am grateful. Plus I am actually making progress getting my UFOs finished! Yea! A big thank you to my friends, for helping me get thru this.

Enjoy your Sunday
Maybe enjoy a Rita! 
Tot ziens, Jo


  1. I am so sorry for what u are going thru, Jo. And I couldn't agree with u more. We have a trust but we havent looked at it since we created it over ten years ago. Your post was a real eye opener. Thanks, and good luck with it all. Glad your quilting gives u some respite.

    1. Thank you Sandy, so good that you have a trust in place


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